With Both Hands

With Both Hands

That a Laodicean Christian concerned by the sombre message of Revelation 3, would be told by an elder, “relax, it’s actually a coded message to a future church,” lies beyond my imagination’s reach. While I believe that much can, and should, be drawn from the book sent to the seven churches, I cannot wrest it from their hands and squeeze it into my backpack. It was written to them but the Holy Spirit preserved it for me. Reading Revelation is eavesdropping, it is peering over the Continue reading “With Both Hands”

Amens are not Tasty

Amens are not Tasty

Hearty amens do not a hearty meal make. Believe it or not, pastors do not live on amens. Amens do not pay your church’s utilities and hallelujahs are not edible. Pastors and other church workers need money to go about the business of life just like any other human being. Some congregants act as if they would be shocked to find that manna does not fall from heaven onto the pastor’s lawn. Pastors make the same pilgrimages to the stores as we do. Continue reading “Amens are not Tasty”

The Best Policy

The Best Policy

It is hard to forget the stab of guilt that cleaved the heart whenever, “tell the truth and shame the devil,” was declared with a stern tone and pointed fingers on the playground. The invocation of religiosity was often too great for the lie to bear, crushing it and squeezing the truth out in sheepish tones uttered with unease and at times, bowed heads.

Perhaps it was not so much the weight of religiosity that brought out the truth but the childlike propensity for Continue reading “The Best Policy”

The Boss Can Be Late

The Boss Can Be Late

The boss is never late but delayed, they say. Thus, this display of semantic gymnastics encapsulates the impunity of power, widening the already yawning chasm between boss and underling. Both must never be late. The underling achieves this by effort and the boss achieves this by position: how dare you question me! Imagine a recently bereaved boss slightly deviating from policy in a fit of rage in the face of insensitive ungrateful underlings. Understandable, right? Continue reading “The Boss Can Be Late”

How To Manipulate God

How To Manipulate God

God made a big mistake! He forgot to fix the universe so that it would keep rotating around us, thus, we get what we want sometimes but most of the time, the universe grows bored with us and runs off to spin around other things, leaving us with crushed hopes and failed plans. What sort of God does that to us? We have a right to get whatever we want. Of course, the universe ought to spin around us, our signatures are etched in the planets and our selfies are posted on the very stars after all! Fortunately, God has a weakness Continue reading “How To Manipulate God”